I'm Annoyed!

Are there any other ways to response to my feeling and express myself ? I do hate writing...n i do admit that i feel calm after i put my feeling into words!!... and i have to be careful when i wanted to put contents into my words.... and it feels suck!
Too many self conflict that i still couldn't solved because i still didn't feel like I'm in the right track to think about how to solved all that conflicts.. everyday is a beginning for us to start and make our day to be perfect... n suddenly a bad thing occurred in the middle and it destroyed everything.... i just feel suck.. i still think about how to be a kind, full of generosity, understanding, while facing to the people around me especially for those who are closed to me... but why? they still didn't know how i exactly feel right now? don't be kind to me when u are not .. while i already put all my hoped away from them... who are exactly themselves to me? please... just don't make me cry even though i put my smile when i am crying... urgh! it really sound stupid for pretending to be like nothing is happening... but it become worst when this problem is blending to another problem to think... and please! stop comparing me with others!
people around always want to be happy permanently and not temporarily....so do i....

an awful exam...

Since i realized about my currently status for being a student... and this is the most terrible and the most awful time which is i have! to facing the exam soon.. not too soon.. the soon is just about 1 and a half week only ! OMG... why am i really nervous for every time i think about that?! yes ! correctly...
laziness.. hehe... i am kind of a heavy sense by doing any good thing for study... commonly.. i often bring any "small notes" together while entering test or quizzes session... but NOT for exam.. n assignment? i do hate it all..
well.. it just for only 2 subject available for my exam... n it feels like 20 paper to be written with the fact and correct answer referred on the notes and the books...
huhuhu... deep in my heart.. i hope! i could really answer them correctly.... aminnn...
i really hope so... for the subject on...

29nov09=virtual reality... (3D..direction cosines.. euler n fixed angle..n the tranformation (wut the heck is that? hikhik...",)
2dec10=java....(programming? huaaargh!)

struggle to get high mark.... because this is the only chance for me to fill up my current cgpa which is if u could subtract my cgpa with 0.1...it will drop down into 2.blablabla value... and since i loves number 3 a lot... so just let it be with 3.blablabla cgpa....hehehe

generally ... i hate uthm... i hate being a student there... no life.. no mission guidance since i being a degree student for these 3 years... sorry everybody... for those who hate me... i wanted u to know that i hate u too... hehehehe....pls love me oke? n hate me would not make u even prettier than u already are !! ^^

tqvm...

do you ever wonder that your siblings.....^^

I still keep wondering why does my sibling often did something weird..
what had i seen here was about their interest on something unique, and generating, combining
unique stuff and so on.,
they likes writing.. they likes drawing.. colouring.. n they likes
reading too.. and generating funny ideas..
i think, kids nowadays are thinking more different than we are..
most of their acts already impressed me a lot..instead of trying their best to get an
A in their exam..they didn't caused any trouble by doing anything they loves everyday...
and u know what? i did ask them to give me a suggestion and comment on my design work since
i am a multimedia student.. and it works!
yes ! kids nowadays have much more thing to do that we could dig it out!

just hope i could being a kid back in this century.. haha.. of course ! it can't be... ^^
i love them all ^^

percentage of mood for a death seeker!

mood for today = 99% are sadness.. 1% for mind blurry .. (no happiness at all)

target = to achieved 100% of happiness...

duration = a week..
estimated time to be happy = end of next week...

agenda = dead! landing on a road... jumping from 16th floor flat larkin... being kidnap by somebody and kill me... drink poison... (no poison currently available at home) .. accident ? (no!) ... or dead while sleeping..? (no!).. huh.. i'm not going to die.. but...

hurm... i just wanted to go to the club again... to release my stress because of that "jerk"...
so what ? JUST LET ME BE OKAY?!

said NO flirting in da club !

last night.. having a simple party.. a birthday party for addie lee.. he was my sista's boss... the party was held in cabana the zon.. 8 people invited included myself.. with a bottle of blablabla (i don't know what the name is) and 3 bottle of coke on the table.. another pizza's, and after 30 minutes left, we truly celebrate it with chocolate cheese cake.. yummy..yummy... together with the dj's announced the party night for him... weweeiiitt.. hehe..

now everybody celebrate it.. caca as usual. she started dancing and she would never stop from shaking her body... instead of it.. cabana left sided table, there were a bunch of village girl and guy where they all were already drunk just about at 11.30pm...or i think most of them just pretending being drunk for certain reason... so that they won't look guilty for having flirt with other strangers boy at the other side when they danced together...so cheap behavior..eeuuu...i don't like..!

we dance ! it was fun ! n suddenly... 3 outsider man.. came towards us.. try to dance and flirting with their stupid smelly drunk... who did they think they r? no one of us treated him while dancing... go away ! we need our privacy ! we go there for having fun but not simply pick for a one night man laaa !!! that the think that i should yelling to them...

it was good for u to bring along ur bf together or any of your friend's boyfriend to the club.. so that strangers won't bothering u since guy's are there looking for all of u girls... so just bewared of flirting strangers in da club.. they are really suck for spoiling ur happy moment with ur friends..

generally...
it was really fun last night ! yeahh ! one love... !!! put ur hands up in the air!!! ^^ hehehe

don't betrayed me!

what should I do?
release the person I love ...?
or remain silent in what is happening ...?
or try to pretending not to feel anything... ? although my heart is sick?
because.. frustration as betrayed by a person i really loved..?
why me?
I realize that I was not as perfect as other women ..
why other women should be an entertainer and a complement to make him happy?
I'm tired but i do trying the best ..
Please..don't do this..
I still crying every night i remembered of this matter..
i can't stand anymore..
i put my trust on you... full of trustworthy..
huhuhu...=,(

A hopeless hope

While someone are lying.. and didn't admit it when he had been caught up by someone else.
he keep on telling the truth of lies... how to faced with all these lies.?

please... she's really sad, a broken hearted girl..
a girl out there.. she's just an ordinary girl... having a relationship with
a strangers boy... she didn't even know him... even as a friend before.. they directly been together in a
relationship from the 1st day they met.. since they didn't knowing each other.. the girl who will always think
positively on him, giving him 100percent of HOPE n LOVE... n suddenly...

the hope become hopeless..
the love become hopeless too...

please help the girl..

she said : honesty will encourage her hope
a word " sorry " will make her heart calm..
make a promises to make her relationship become full of hope again...

she said again.. if there's any lack of her actions towards anybody before.. she ask for
their forgiveness for being a rude person..
nobody is perfect..
but a forgiveness are always there for him..

she feels hopeless.. nothing to think.. blurr.. sad.. broken hearted...
but.. keep smiling to cheer up everybody...

forget the past.. but still did the same thing from the past..don't make a person u love more suffer than u thought..
because... she's innocent.. for loving him..
don't make she hates u... more than u thought..
because... she had also learned from the past... by leaving a hopeless person too...



she was pretending to be like "nothing is happening" ..
do the action.. ^.^