chaos..!xx

unstable emotion rite now.. i cant to forgive while i still cant forget it.. my heart seems being pushed for some reason to live.. ya Allah.. i pray n i begging u to show me the way to get rid all this messed.. i cant stand to be someone that i dont..

its been long time for me facing all your tests.. is it the time for me to back of or to move on or is it one of another test u've been giving me for all the sins ive done so many times before?

i might can faced it physically. but not emotionally.. becoz nobody would listen everything i would say..yup, i might need someone who Listen!

besides, i got a good news this week.. ya.. im so be greatful which is i already got position for my internship.. n im so happy that one of my probs for these 3months..solved! aminn.. since that, nobody know n can share this happiness with me... its ok..

i missed everything about my past where everything just started.. i missed u before.. i miss u when u jst know me.. it makes me think of your kindness.. ya.. your kindness, ur concerns, all that are gone ... i dont know.. when im alone i just thing bout our past..memory bring me to u.. u just u.. n u wont Listen anymore....

....................................................

a piece of heart

unsure i can trust u again while u walked away leave me no voice surrounded with complicated 1001 regrets from the 1st time we met.. too many chances i gave u hoping for only 1 changes but i got nothing on it..

today.. after a very long time i didnt speak to someone strangers who i just know him thru fb.. he speak to me.. opened up my mind to bcome more precious rather than think of too many stress to my everyday life..

when i ask about how can i get a good person.. he answered.. u should define the "good" itself.. n then u will know how far the "good" on someone tht u need.. yup n i deserved it..

im jst tired on everyhting..i jst want to looked up for our new happiness.. i really want to change all the bad to be better life.. all in my mind n my heart said.. i missed him n i love him more than everything.. i still want to forgive him even though it hurt me so bad.. i jst dont know why n all i need is to be with him forever..

a day, several times in my mind to call n jst said, i miss u .. but it stuck me then..

u hurt me.. n it hurt me a lot.. i want u to know tht i love u.. i finally found my way since nobody stop me to stay... takecare..

love,

mastura..